It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
