It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
