but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I smell like Dick and happiness
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