Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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