Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I want a musical about memes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
