we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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