My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
