How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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