maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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