I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize