U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
