I'm going to rape someone's good day.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize