Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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