they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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