You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My ass is underappreciated
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize