dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize