I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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