So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
