I wannas sexs uuuuu
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
you made out with another girl for some wings
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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