I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
