I heard we made out
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
