great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
