my sisters under your porch take her home
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
