So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
