last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
