I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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