My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
