Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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