There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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