Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
