Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize