He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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