But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
