we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
