I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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