The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
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tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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