He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
