Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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