Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
