Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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