Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
