Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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