i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
