Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize