This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
