so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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