All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
