If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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