He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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