Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
