While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
