So drunk its hurt
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
