now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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